Day 8 But Not Really

So, the Master Cleanse hasn't gone as planned. My recommendations:

1) Really...no really...schedule out 10 days where you have absolutely no plans. You can't sit at dinner or a bar and have your lemonade drink and not scratch out your eyes.
2) Plan a good 15 minutes every morning juicing those m*ther f*cking lemons if you have to take your drink to work.
3) Figure out how to get down a liter of salted water at 6 in the morning.
4) Once you "cheat" you will not go back on the cleanse 100%. Your mind starts playing tricks on you like "I would really like to eat something now".
5) Buy your Grade B maple syrup in large quantities because no one sells in it the financial district.

I blew it

Blew it on Friday night. I kinda knew I would. The weather was the nicest we have had all year. Best friend came to town. We all met at a local wine bar. How was I going to sit there and drink my lemonade while everyone else was eating cheese and drinking wine? So, I talked myself into joining them. #11 of The Most Common Pitfalls to Breaking the Cleanse is "Going to Social Events During the First Seven Days". Well, old Peter Glickman from the Master Cleanse Book was right. I didn't go overboard like I usually do but still ate cheese, cured meats and white wine...my usual pitfalls. It was sure fun. Then on Saturday poured wine for 5 hours in 90 degree weather!!! I almost passed out. The group headed to Cha Cha Cha after. How do I sit there and drink water while everyone else is eating curried shrimp, roasted potatoes, chix in mustard sauce and very cold Pacificos. So I succumbed. Felt crappy on Sunday and another day of eating. Once you start it's really hard to stop. Now it's Monday am and back on track. Have my lovely lemonade at my desk. Weather has turned cold so no desire to sit at an outdoor cafe drinking rose. Trader Joes tonight to stock up. I'm realising it's all in the head. I wasn't starving but the social aspect of eating and drinking is really strong for me. That's my form of entertainment. It's what I do with friends. I need to find more hobbies.

Day Three and I'm not as Fat

I lost 5 pounds in 2 days! Now I know that is not really the case. I've just lost water weight but...it sure feels good and empowering to stand on the scale and see a number I haven't seen in 2 years. Yesterday went OK. I'm not feeling the "tons of energy" everyone else talks about. I do know that I'm really toxic with all the cheese, meat and wine. The headaches are a little torture too and I'm sure that's from the non-coffe-which-I-love-mornings. This weekend will be tough. It has to be the nicest weekend in SF all year. It's fricken' 80 degrees and sunny out. How can I not be on a patio drinking rose? I actually don't know what to do with myself AND hubby and I are pouring at a block party tomorrow with a bunch of great restaurants participating. That will be really hard. Still, I'm pushing through and really want to lose the weight so big picture of me looking really fat is on the fridge. I keep telling myself JUST DO IT!

Day Two and I'm Fat

So, had my first day on the Master Cleanse. Only 9 more to go...no really. Actually, it wasn't that bad. Had my lemon drink at my desk all day. Walking around at lunch downtown wasn't so easy. I could smell all the food around me. Really strange. Someone somewhere was grilling burgers. Damn them. Went to Trader Joes to stock up and ended up shopping for hubby. Who goes through the check-out line with mass quantities of lemons and maple syrup. Still at this old age I care what cashiers think. Hubby was great and cooked his dinner at ate in front of computer. He's being really supportive which helps and deep down I know he wouldn't mind if I lost a few. Luckily he would never say a word. I did feel hungry in the evening. My stomach was growling and watching TV doesn't help. Lots of food commercials. I never realised AND it's all crap food. TGIF's was looking good to me though. Ribs...who ever invented ribs...This am had a saltwater flush. That was not easy. You are supposed to drink a liter of warm salted water early because your system with flush it out in an hour and who wants to be on public transportation and in need of an adult diaper. Things didn't "move" as expected. I did read that if you are someone who eats lots of cheese and meat this may take a few days. Well...I live off cheese, cured meats, bread and wine so this cleansing may take months. Days 2 and 3 are supposed to be the hardest so have a hike planned after work and then not sure what to do with myself on Friday. I picked a bad weekend because it's beautiful out and all I really want to do is sit outside somewhere sipping rose. No, all I really want to do is lose that double chin.

whoops

I forgot to mention that I can't have any alcohol for the next 13 days. Uh, I think I haven't had a dry spell that long since...never. So, that should be interesting especially when significant other makes wine and bottles are just lying around the house calling me to drink them.

lemons, maple syrup and cayenne oh my!

Day One of a Master Cleanse. Seems like everyone around me has just completed a cleanse and loved it. More energy, lost weight, feel great...blah blah blah. Well, I like to eat and drink. Probably the hobby I'm best at. Unfortunately, when I was a watron I could eat and drink and always stayed in pretty good shape because I was running around like a mad-women trying to make your meal go perfectly. Now I sit my fat ass at a desk all day and have gained a whopping 25 pounds. It doesn't feel good. You know that feeling when you are sitting in the drivers seat and your stomach rolls meet your boobs...ugh. So, here we go. I've got my big o' bottle of lemonjuice mix at my desk. Sea salt flush is ready to go in the morning and off to Trader Joes to buy a few cases of lemons after work. Need to keep busy so planning a major house cleanse too. Yes, when I go I go big.